My Needs

 I am exhausted. I have been pushing myself so hard for the past month. I've done a lot and I am proud of myself, but it's still a lot and I am tired. I can't wait for my Friday day off. To sleep in would be grand. 

But yesterday was a bit stressful. I had to make Cody's mac n cheese for the party because he wasn't feeling up to it. It's great mac n cheese, it's just very labor intensive. I counted that as my cleaning challenge. 

Today I clean the dining room table and do the couch to 5k. I tried to start strength training yesterday and only got 6 minutes into the routine before I felt like my heart was about to explode. So I got a list of exercises from my friend Katt and I'm going to add 3 of them at a time starting next week. 

I took down all of my VIP Kid stuff. I just wasn't getting bookings. I would rather focus on TPT stuff at the moment. I'll do that until they change my profile picture at the very least. In the meantime I'll apply to jobs and work on TPT. I really wish I was healthy enough to work in a classroom right now. There are so many good teacher jobs out there. I just want to teach. I miss kids. I miss teaching. 

Today I am going to stick to my schedule with a little more fervor. I've been slacking on the free time aspects of the schedule and I think I really need that down time. I think today I'm going to stream some crafting or video games. Or maybe I'll work on my Book of Shadows. I don't know. Whatever happens it will not be work or cleaning. 

I'm feeling pretty good about most things. finances is the only area I'm not feeling good about. I NEED DISABILITY TO COME THROUGH!! I need it! I need it! I need it! It will give me time to heal more before getting back to work. I'm still not good enough to work, but I'm trying so hard. I just want to survive. I just want to do the things I love.