Diagnosis?

I'm We still have some more tests to run, but the doctors in NOVA say that it's a hormone imbalance related to my anxiety and depression. 

It makes since. But we're still waiting on some blood work and my antidepressants to kick in. Even then I think I'm going to need anxiety meds too. Nightmares all over the place. I'm also told I need a psychiatrist and a therapist.

How badass am I? I need a bunch of meds and a team of doctors to keep me from dancing. Ha!

They're running more lupus tests too. So that's still on the table.

And all I can think is, how am I going to pay for all this? It would be more fiscally responsible to wipe myself from the gene pool for my weakness.

I think I have some really big demons to fight. My body is the first beast to overcome. My feelings would be the second. The huge amount of debt slowly accruing will be the he third. And the last is how to adapt my dreams to fit my new self after all these battles.

I have a strong support system. That's the one good thing about all this. I'm going to go to bed again and try dancing with ith my demons.

"What do we say to the God of death?"

"Not today!"

Diagnostic Hell

It's been months since I've first walked into a doctors office with tears in my eyes asking them to tell me I'm not crazy. Now, at 2:20, 3 or 4 hours after I went to sleep. I'm waking myself up flailing. The meds that work are addictive. And they told me to ween myself off them. I try. But they are the only reason I got and sleep at all.

Dad is back from visiting granny. Let me tell you. There is no one more badass than her. She's been diagnosed with a super rare cancer, but is still working it hard! God that woman is a badass.

Cat is purring on my lap teing me it's true to take advantage of the lulls in my dancing to sleep,

I just want to know what's wrong with me.