I'm on Fire!

My boyfriend remarked that I am on fire! This is a good thing in my mind because it echos that which I feel. Today I have more than make up for lost time! <3

I went to work. I got Balsa food and Willow a catnip plant. I got a tasty dinner for Joe and I. I got some finishing touches for prize boxes for the Batchelorette party tomorrow.

When I got home I fed Balsa, myself, and my boy. Balsa had a mouse. Joe and I had a sauteed steak, mushroom, and onion wrap. It was very tasty. I spent more money than I probably should have, but tomorrow is our anniversary. It's okay to splurge a little.

I'm going to rest for a little bit before I finish laundry and then head downstairs to work out on the treadmill. Then go outside and clean up my garden to prep for Saturday. Today has been a good day.

Discouraged

So after about a week of being sick, it's hard to get back into the feeling of badassness. I gained weight (It may only be bloating, but still...) so my pant don't fit. My best friend and her kid are coming over tonight so I have to play hostess. This weekend I'm hosting a bridal shower I have done absolutely no prep-work for...

It just all seems so overwhelming.

So I write a to-do list.
1) work (I sub special ed again)
2) go out and get Balsa foods.
3) come home and treadmill it up
4) clean and prep for the shower
5) get to bed early because I have work tomorrow too.

Baddass? Not With a Cold

I don't think I was just a cold. I honestly believe that cold fucked Hitler, took a shower at Chernobyl, then finally late its eggs in a New York sewer. That cold was awful. Complete with feverish halusinations and muscle spasms that evoked some pretty colorful expressions, even from me.

For the most part its over though. I still have this wretched cough, but I start work again tomorrow. I also start up job hunting tomorrow.

Tonight however, I have a early bedtime. Its time to sleep now actually. My journey of badassitude starts back in earnest tomorrow!

Hard to Feel Like A Badass When You Have a Cold

I have a cold. It is awful. When you're trying to be hardcore and it feels like your brains are leaking out of your nose, you fail....miserably.

But there's something that feels good about trying anyway. Despite feeling bad I still went to work. I had plans to do out larping this weekend. I'm still going too. I'm going to take it easy tonight then go out tomorrow.

Pictures will be posted tomorrow of the AWESOME character. I look like a total badass!

After a couple hours of larping I'm going to a wine tasting. This covers two of my characteristics of a badass. I have a unique hobby, and gain more knowlege of alcohol. That though is a great comfort to me as I lay on the couch amidst a sea of used tissues with a bowl of soup ballanced on my chest while I watch "Psych."

I'm a not a badass yet, but I'm working it. Today for recovery. Tomorrow for badassitude.

Chores

I've never been good at chores. My parents taught me how to do them. They had all the rules in place that I would do them every day in a timely way...but I've always hated them. I think that's always been my main problem.

Now that I'm an adult, chores have to be done, not to earn an allowance, but so I know where things are and I don't cultivate some God-awful disease and become the start of the zombie-apocalypse. To further compound the issue, badasses know how to keep clean.

So starting today, I'm making a rule for myself. Its simple and its not groundbreaking. I resolve to always put things back where they go. They do not belong on counters, on the floor, or in my car. Everything has a home. I need to put things back the first time.

That's my first step. Its nothing big, but I'm owning this. Well see what the next step is when I start making progress.

Goal Oriented Graphics

I've always been the "out of sight, out of mind" type of person. Without constant reminders to get things done, I ultimately fail. Normally I attribute this to my ADD. It makes it very difficult to focus on any one task. My mind becomes so busy remembering some tasks it forgets some others of them.
Be that as it may, I've recently acquired an entire office to myself. I'm using its wall space prudently with reminders to keep on task and to motivate me towards my goals.

I've also always been very visually stimulated. Pictures, colors, graphs, and charts draw my eye and focus. Because of this, my posters are all colorful and graphics heavy. I have 5 posters currently, with the intent to add a second.

The first one is my schedule. It's really more of a to-do list. I have the agenda items categorized by color. The yellow ones are items that should be accomplished daily: wake up, shower, breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all examples of this. The purple items are cleaning agenda tasks. Items like clean out the fridge, mop, and clean the toilet are there. Green items are fun things. Arts and crafts predominantly take this category. Blue items are zen or spiritual items. Gardening, blogging, and church are among the things placed in there. Last I have pink items. These are the things I do to better my intellectual health. Duolingo, classes, and work (I'm a substitute teacher) take this category. Each color has to show up at least once per day.

On the poster are actually double sided sticky tabs. I laminated the agenda items that stick to the tabs so they come off quite easily.

The next graphic is a poster of the pilates exercises in order. I have a hard time remembering which comes before which and I was tired of picking up my book to remember. I took the course in college, so I remember the form and function of each pose, it's the order that gums me up. That's why I made this poster.

These poses and the order are based on this book, "The Pilates Body" by Brooke Siler. It's a good one. It tells the reader exactly what needs to happen for each position. 

The muscle training poster is based on the 100 push ups program and the other exercise programs linked to the sight: Found Here. I found a number of years ago. I haven't started it yet, but the program is separated into three days a week. These three day weeks are stapled together and put into a pocket for each exercise. Every day I will be taking the date's exercise regimen out and taping it to the pocket. I start that program Monday of next week.

The next poster has a list of runners stretches I also found online a number of years ago. I can't seem to find the source website, but I was very pleased with the breadth of the routine. Below it I keep track of my daily running.

I have the fortune of having a treadmill and a TV placed in front of it. I created my program keeping this thought in mind. Every day I'm going to watch an episode of the new Battlestar Galactica (I'm a bigger fan of the old one, but the new one is interesting enough.) Each episode is about 45 minutes long. I record the amount of miles I run within each episode. This keeps me motivated to do it daily as I am not allowed to watch the show unless I am on the treadmill. Also, there is nothing better than watching a badass (Starbuck) kick ass to inspire me to get better. 

This is the weight graph I'm maintaining. Each morning I plan on weighing myself. Now, I realize that weight fluctuates day to day based on a lot of factors. but the general trend can be seen via averages. Now, I'm not overly concerned about my weight, however, it is a good indicator of my fitness progress.

That about sums up my graphic aids. I still have to make my budgeting poster. I'll do that as soon as I actually get a summer job and get a better grasp on my finances for the summer.

Badass Goals

Previously I have defined badass by separating it into 4 categories. Now I will define the goals I have pertaining to those definitions:

Physical:

• They are fit, healthy, and strong

1. Less processed foods in my diet.
2. Army Ranger standards of fitness: 80 pushups in 2 minutes, 80 situps in 2 minutes, 12 pullups in 2 minutes, 2 miles in 13 minutes, 5 miles in 35 minutes, and a 16 mile hike with 65lbs of gear in 4-5 hours
3. Gain the flexibility and strength to do most yoga poses unaided.

• They have their own personal style

1. Figure out my personal clothing style, both professionally, and casually.
2. Obtain the clothing to maintain that style

• They know how to fight

1. Relearn martial arts.
2. Obtain a base knowledge of take-downs and submissions.

• They work with any physical impairments

1. Get both contacts and glasses that suit me in both form and function.

• They are clean, and hygienic 

1. Take more pride in appearance by taking time to brush hair, wear clean clothes, and shower daily.
2. Make sure house stays clean and orderly. Set up a schedule for cleaning and stick with it.

Intellectual:

• They have varied knowledge

1. Study the following subjects: Teaching (My career, yey!), English, Math, Mechanics, Science, Music, Arts/Crafts, Survival Techniques, History, Civics/Politics, Current Events, Homemaking, Computers, Alcohol, Firearms, Leadership, and Dance.

• They know of other badasses

1. Study the basaddess who have come before. Figure out why they were badasses, and how they came into their badassitude. Do not discriminate or only study one type.

• They are well read

1. Take time to read daily, even if it's only 15 minutes before bed.
2. Compile a list of different types of books that should be read.

• They know a verity of etiquette and protocol and the time and place to use each

1. Study and master the art of eating in polite company, how to host parties, how to attend thank you notes, invitations, etc. Master the art of small talk and discretion. 

• They have an adventurous spirit

1. If given the opportunity, always try new things.
2. Take time to go somewhere I've never been before at least twice a month.

• They listen more or as much as they speak

1. God gave us two ears, two eyes, and one mouth. Make a conscious effort to look and listen twice as much as I talk.

• They are creative spirits

1. Take time for arts and crafts once a week in the very least. 

Social:

• They are leaders

1. Make an effort to be a good leader whenever presented an opportunity.

• They are independent

1. Find strength of emotion within self
2. Grow more of my own food.
3. Don't take charity. Only take loans that I can pay back.

• They have an unusual hobby

1. Continue passion for LARPing
2. Get more into cosplay
3. Make time for Magic tournaments
4. Take time weekly to play videogames

• They are keenly aware of the plight of their fellow man.

1. Stand up for the underdog whenever I see them pushed down.

• They are humanitarians

1. Find a way to help my community become stronger through volunteering

• They have a willingness (not an outright desire) to defy conventions to stand up for those who cannot.

1. Don't let haters bring me down. I do what's right.

• They actually DO things and don't just talk about them.

1. Keep track of goal progress with this blog.

Personal:

• They have their own moral code, which they strictly abide by.

1. Define my own personal moral code. Keep track with how well I keep to it.

• They stand up for themselves as they do others.

1. Don't let people walk over me.
2. Don't let them walk on other people

• They know their limits and attempt to overcome them.

1. Do some major introspection and find the areas I need to improve.

• They have a mindfulness and inner-peace.

1. Study the concept of mindfulness through research and meditation.

• They listen to their inner voice.

1. Conduct an introspective study to find my inner voice.

• They are okay with being alone.

1. Take a weekend and go out alone where there's no contact with the world.
2. Take a week and go out with no contact with people. 

• They are organized with their time and space

1. De-clutter my house (lean more towards the minimalist lifestyle)
2. Keep a schedule.
3. Maintain a budget.

• They normally have a vice that may negate one or two of the above.

1. Forgive myself if I don't make it the first time. I have vices, and cannot be perfect.

Most of my goals are pretty loose. I have no specific goals. This blog will be a place to explore and further define those goals.

What is a Badass?

Google Definitions defines a Badass as "a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person." or a "a formidably impressive person." But what does that mean? What is a badass? What are the qualities that make one person more badass than the rest? Is it a leather jacket and a scar? Is it a fierce independence that defies social norms? Is it a deep and passionate caring for the human condition? Truly, what is a badass and what does it mean to me?

I've seen many badassess in my years. There are the common references of John Wayne, Bruce Lee, and Winston Churchill. There are the fictional references in Indiana Jones, James Bond, and Batman. Then we find the female badasses both fictional and real: Buffy, Xena, The Bride, Joan of Arc,  Queen Boudicca, and Angelina Jolie. In addition, the less recognized badasses such as Mother Teressa, and Hawa Abdi. I also have many friends who are badasses, EMTs, Volunteer Firefighters, Marines, MMA warrior poets, and people who have worked themselves out of nothing to find their place. With so much inspiration, it's only right that I struggle to emulate that which I admire, and become a person that I would like to be. 

I want to become a badass. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, and I'm not seeking change to get out of a tight spot. I actually lead a pretty comfortable life now. I have a loving family, wonderful friends, my "children" (a cat and a snake), a good job, and a very bright future. I even have a romantic interest that I'm rather fond of.

That wasn't always the case. A year and a half ago, something happened to me that presented itself as an opportunity to allow me to figure out who I am and what I want to be. I hit a very low point in my life. It broke the person who I once was, the world I had lived in, and hurt a lot of people in the process (a fact I deeply regret). I can never be her again, and I can never go back to that way of life. This is a written account of my exploration into redefining myself. It is a log of the efforts I make into becoming the best me I can. It is an ongoing testament of my journey as a person who wants to be better than she is.

What is a badass to me? A badass is a person, male or female, who doesn't pretend to be something they are not. They are themselves, without apology or apprehension. Despite this confidence, however, they are always trying to become better than they were. They strive for their view of perfection, without the illusion that it can ever be obtained. They allow themselves to make mistakes, and let it make them grow. They are strong, both physically and mentally. They are independent and self reliant. They have a wide range of knowledge. And finally they use themselves as a tool to help others. 

A badass has qualities I separate into 4 categories:

Physical:

• They are fit, healthy, and strong
• They have their own personal style
• They know how to fight
• They work with any physical impairments
• They are clean, and hygienic 

Intellectual:

• They have varied knowledge
• They know of other badasses
• They are well read
• They know a verity of etiquette and protocol and the time and place to use each
• They have an adventurous spirit
• They listen more or as much as they speak
• They are creative spirits

Social:

• They are leaders
• They are independent
• They have an unusual hobby
• They are keenly aware of the plight of their fellow man.
• They are humanitarians
• They have a willingness (not an outright desire) to defy conventions to stand up for those who cannot.
• They actually DO things and don't just talk about them.

Personal:

• They have their own moral code, which they strictly abide by.
• They stand up for themselves as they do others.
• They know their limits and attempt to overcome them.
• They have a mindfulness and inner-peace.
• They listen to their inner voice.
• They are okay with being alone.
• They are organized with their time and space
• They normally have a vice that may negate one or two of the above.

This is my definition of a badass. This is everything I strive to be. As I work towards achieving this goal, my definitions may change, but as it stands. This is what I want and believe.

What do you think a badass is? Let me know by following this link:  Here