That's a scrubbed mission.

I spent hours on a post....HOURS. In total about 7 hours on a post. All that work wasn't saved. I am so pissed. It was really good, too. I had a lot of positive introspection and realizations. It was awesome, and so was my day yesterday.

I was super productive! I spent 4 hours writing, scrubbed the litterbox, made a wooden box, went shopping, made the meal prep for the week, made dinner, and did all of the dishes. I also stalked my rapist, my ex husband, and myself.

Come to find out my rapist may be married and is making a lot more than I am. Big surprise there. I'd like to think he's a better man now. Adolescence is a time of powerful hormones. It doesn't make what he did right, but as long as it was a one time thing I feel better.

Though sometimes I still wish I could gut him for all the pain he put me through. It's a very small part of me that hasn't fully forgiven him yet. The majority of me has though.

You'd be surprised how much information you can find on the internet. Just by knowing someone's full name and a few basic facts about them, you can research a lot, even if they don't have facebook, which my rapist doesn't. Though his brother does.

I am such a creeper. I just want to know they've changed without actually contacting them. I'm obsessed with the people who wronged me realizing they were wrong and changing for the better. That to me is the ultimate justice.

This is the song that's been stuck in my head lately: