Welcome to My Inner Critic

I am not a good mother. My cats constantly have an unclean litterbox. I forget to feed them sometimes (luckily joe backs me up) and my snake has been without heat for a few days because I am too lazy to go out and buy the lightbulbs I need.

I am not a good roommate. I'm loud during quit times, banging around getting ready for work. I snore loudly enough to rattle floors. I don't clean up after myself or my cats. Dishes stay in the sink for a week before I do them. I haven't swept since moving in. I'm shit at chores.

I lack the self discipline to lose weight. I hate being hungry. I don't brush my teeth so my breath stinks. Well, I sometimes brush my teeth, but not enough. I lack discipline to go to work everyday, and I make excuses for it.

I'm lazy, no really lazy. Just today I had a full day off. Everything feels great except my energy levels, and all I did was a load of laundry and put away dishes. I could have gone to work, but I slept in instead. My day was centered around my cats cuddling, watching "The Flash" and folding paper cranes.

I spend too much time planning a wedding that will probably never happen. I've planned 12 ish weddings complete with budget. It consumes me.

I am horrible with my money. I should be scrimping to pay off my credit cards, but instead I just spent 30 bucks on hair dye because I want funky hair this summer.

I'm fat and ugly. A zitted freak with a double chin.

I'm uninteresting. Even my cruise, which any normal person would have had amazing stories from, I just draw a blank, like it didn't even matter. I mean I had the time of my life, but I'm unable to say exactly why. My conversations are purely me asking questions about others. I can't hold a conversation about myself to save my life.

I lay around too much. I should do stuff, but I just feel drained all the time. I'm uninterested in all of my usual loves, reading, gardening, even my religious practice has fallen by the wayside. I might as well be dead.