I've never really got on well with my father. Sure we love each other, and we would readily die to keep each other safe and all that, but as a person...I guess we're both just too stubborn to see each other's point of view. I'm super sensitive to his criticism in reaction to him being very hyper critical. I'm very socially liberal, and he's a staunch conservative in all respects. I love him. He's just a major source of arguments for me.
Well he calls me out of the blue just to get updated on how I'm doing. There was no judgement in his tone the whole time we were talking about therapy and my disorder. I was baffled. He seemed so neutral and almost passive. I'd never thought dad could take that tone.
I mentioned that I was both raped and sexually assaulted, and his voice did get angry. He almost asked me how I got myself into those situations, but he cut himself off. I want everyone to know that this has never happened before. He stopped saying something offensive because he knew it would bother me. This is huge!
Sure, he still has a pretty conservative mentality, and I'm sure victim blaming would have come up, but he stopped himself. I didn't have to butt heads with him because he purposely avoided a conversation he knew would take an angry path!
I am so fucking proud of my dad right now! I can't tell you how pleased I am with him! He's not perfect, no one is. But this is solid evidence that he is trying to put his ego aside to forge a closer relationship with me!
Squee!
Also I had some friends from group therapy over this afternoon. I made some damn good chilli and I helped a friend in need out by giving her the leftovers and some canned food I was going to donate to the food bank. Seeing her smile made me feel so happy. She's in a rough spot. I've been in rough spots before too. I recognize that and I am so glad I could give her smiles.
My favorite couple came over tonight too! It wasn't anything fancy, we just sat around talking and playing games, and crafting. It's just perfect.
I am so exhausted right now though. I may fall asleep before I get the chance to take my pills.
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