Whining

 I didn't follow the schedule today much either. I just don't feel well. I'm stressed. I did ride on the bike for 10 minutes, and I took my pills. I have done literally nothing else save for job hunting. It's consumed me.

I called one job that I have a connection to. They said that there might not be a job to fill after all. So that's pleasant news /s. I also talked with a recruiter for another company and she said that there are no jobs currently, but as soon as one becomes available she will push my application through. I've also applied to 2 other jobs today so far. I'm so tired of this. I just want a job I can physically do. We are seriously strapped for funding right now to the point where I'm not going to get more milk for my morning coffee. I also need to stop smoking for money as well as other reasons. I just lack discipline. 

I'm having such a hard time with life right now. FND is a bitch. I can't physically do things and mentally taxing tasks put me in a state. I'm just a useless lump because of the FND, and disability has yet to come through. I could really use that money right now. 

I should go clean. I think I'll take the day to focus on cleaning, even if I only get the trash out. I also will get some laundry done. 

I think I'd also like to do a money spell to get a job. 

I'm just so tired of being sick. I hate this disease and how it's wrecked my future. 

I should probably eat somethin too. 

Ugh.