Struggling

 I'm struggling to move to China time. My sleep schedule is all sorts of messed up. I'm going to start tutoring Monday whether I'm ready or not. 

I'm really nervous however, How will it effect disability? I need disability right now. I need money.

If I had money, I would take the cats to the vet and pay for the wedding. The rest would be given to Cody to put into savings for the future. I would love to have money for security. It would be so nice to not worry about money. 

So nice.

But I am trying so hard to make sure we are financially stable despite my inability to work regularly. I'm trying so flipping hard. I wish I could work/I want to be able to work a full time stressful job, but I can't yet. I want it so bad! I miss teaching so much!!

It's just so stressful that it triggers my FND so bad. I want this FND to leave me SO BAD!

New Schedule FOR NOW:

2:00 AM - Wake up and get ready
3:00 AM - VIP Kid
9:00 AM - Sleep
5:00 PM - Wake up Get ready
6:00 PM - Make Dinner
7:00 PM - Eat
8:00 PM - Cody Time 
10:00 PM - Get Ready for Bed
1!:00 PM - Sleep

Hopefully it works out.