Sly as a fox

I have seen a fox almost every day since coming to my parent’s house. She’s a beautiful thing a black underbelly and a white mussed face. I don’t know if it’s male or female actually, i’m just putting a gender on it. It makes writing easier. She’s stared at me at least 3 times. It was wonderful! Nothing magical,  it just gives me a childish thrill when a wild animal aknowleges me.

While out doing my spell I heard owls too. There is so much wildlife in this area. I even think I heard a raven!

I’m on a diet for my cruise trip. It’s so hard. I’m constantly hungry. I also have to convence myself that I will eat again. Mom has been so good about keeping me on track. She reminds me that i need to keep my meals small and my snacks healthy.

I’ve been ciggarette free for 4 days!

I head to Boston tonight. I’m excited about flying. I love flying. Pulling Gs is thrilling in a way that nothing else is. I’d choose it above sex and food too. And then I love airports too. Seeing people running around in their own worlds makes me feel almost empathic.

Speaking of empathy, I’ve been having problems feeling all but the most intence emotions lately. Once when the cat got out and another time when the cubs won. Even then I didn’t feel the emotions so much as I recognized the physical effects of the emotions. I wonder if my antidepressents have something to do with it, or if it’s my disaccocitive disorder.  I wonder how I can start feeling emotions again. I mean aside visiting my therapist. I’m sure it would help if I had a friend who i trusted with my emotions. I’ve had a couple, but they stopped talking to me as much. Even Joe has been too busy. It’s kind of lonely not having a friend I can count on.

I’m doing better at not sleeping all day. I’m hoping this means I’ll be able to substitute starting Wednesday. Hopefully for a full day.

I got this!