To Become a Badass Start at the Basics.

I am not where I want to be in life, and I'm certainly not where the world expects me to be. I'm 30, jobless, failed marriage, no children...If I died right now all I'd be is a debt to whoever had to foot thebill, because Gods know I don't have life insurance.

So where do I want to be? And where am I now

Have a fulfilling job........................................................................I do dishes sometimes.
Making 27k+ a year........................................................................I get disability at 11k a year.
Have the energy to keep my house clean........................................I do laundry occasionally.
Have an athletic body......................................................................I play Pokemon Go sometime.
Be healthy again.............................................................................My pills make me functional.
Have nice clothes............................................................................I don't fit into my stained and worn clothes.
Not feel awkward in social situations.............................................I feel like my friends are only around because they don't want to be the douche who wasn't friends with someone after they got a disability.
Get out of debt.................................................................................Swimming in debt, not drowning...yet.


Everything else is secondary. When I hit where I want to in life, Then I can try to master scroll work, become a good cellist, write a publishable novel, or speak another language. I'm not saying I'm not going to practice in the meantime, it's just not going to be my focus.

Well, I want to get married again one day too, but I'm not going to rush that. That's one of those things that needs to happen authentically. Though, it would be nice to have a good and healthy marriage. One based on communication, trust, and respect. It would have to be a healthy marriage, though. I want a healthy marriage eventually.

So what am I going to do to reach my goals.

A lot of it hinges on me getting my license back, so I guess waiting is in order on the job front and going to the gym. But as soon as I get my license I'll job hunt to the fullest. I'll get on the Ticket to Work program. I'll also be frequenting the Gym. I'm excited about taking classes there. They have a Pilates/Yoga class I've been dying to take. Once I get a job, the debt will resolve. Once I hit the gym 4-5 times a week my clothes should start fitting. I'll have a better body, too.

I guess that leaves me to work on my social etiquite and cleaning the house...Well it's something to work on.Starting tomorrow I'm going to clean my house top to bottom. I'd say I'd do it today, but I am really feeling my symptoms badly.

Tomorrow:
Laundry
Clean the sun room
    *Take down and store my greenhouse,
    * Water my plants
    * Wipe tables down
    *Sweep and mop.
Clean the kitchen.
     * Do dishes
     *Wipe down counters
     *Clean out fridge
     *Clean coffee table
      *Clean stove
      *sweep
      *mop

I guess that will do me for now. It'll have to.