Spirit Animal

I have never had an affinity for one particular animal in the way a lot of people have. I don't have a favorite animal, Ive never identified myself as having animalistic traits. When my friends went through a furry drawing phase I felt left out since I couldn't place an animal avatar to represent me. Hell, even my local friend group has animal personas as a joke. They assigned me the Oppossum which seems to be a referance to the fact that at one time my boyfriend was a Opossum breeder in a LARP. It's cute, but it doesn't ring true.

One of the things about Slavic Heathenism from what I've been reading is a totemic bond with a particular animal or plant. I threw my hands in the air! What kind of animal or plant do I identify with enough to use in my worship?! None I tell you! 

So I am on a quest to find my totem. It may take a while. First I need to get better at meditation (Which has the added benefit of being good for my FND) So that's what I'm focusing on currently.

It's a little embarasing, but last night while I was meditating, a fluffy white fox came up to me. I don't think it is my totem. I didn't feel the connection with it, but I burried my fingers in its thick fur and told it I was looking for my totem. Then it went away. I think that maybe that the fox might have been a spiritual messenger called by my quest. I think that when I've grown enough to my totem's satisfaction it will reveal itself to me. The meditation felt so real. It was actually kind of cool.