Joe

This is my boyfriend Joe. He's goofy, handsome, kind, funny, creative, strong, dedicated, hardworking, intelligent (Though he'll deny it)  and someone I look up to and admire. I am madly in love with this man. I would have neverhave guessed I could be so lucky as him wanting me. Even if he dumped me tomorrow, I would count myself amazingly blessed to have had him in my life romantically. I would loathe to give up our friendship, however. He's beenm an amazing friend who's stuck by me through some damn aweful times. 

It's been nearly 3 years since Joe and I drunkenly hooked up, and I hold that that was the best thing I've ever done drunk. In the begining I strictly kept it physical, still wounded and reeling from my divorce. But over the next few months I am so grateful for him for that.rew more and more drawn to him. 

May 23, 2013 I was the first to say those three words I never expected myself to hear from my lips. I was intoxicated, and dont remember much of it, but I do remember laying in his lap watching some show on TV in the same house we currently live in. (It's one of the reasons I like this house so much.)

We moved in together, went to school together, shared a bathroom, dealt with several hospitalizations and a chronic illness. We've been though poverty and comfort, the stress of work and school in combination, and if anything, I feel as though our relationship has grown.

He has put up with a lot of my shit, lately. I don't clean as much as I aught to. I make a lot of mess with my crafting. I don't have a job, and I am very needy when it comes to catching rides. I've also noticed I'm not as good at doing things to make him happy like I used to. This is something I hope to change.

I really am in love with him, though. I want to marry him, have children (fur or flesh doesn't matter) I want to elevate his goals, and by proxy his family business. I want him to succeed in everything and I want to share all of my goals, dreams, and joys with him. I want to take him places and show him beautiful things. I want to fight. I want to make up. I want to live with him in my life always.

And I feel the fool for it. Im so crazy about Joe. He's not perfect, nut he's the perfect man for me, and that's more than enough. I get scared sometimes that he'll wise up and leave me. I wouldn't blame him. I'm a fat cripple with no job. Yes, I keep trying to improve, but sometimes it's one step forward two steps back, and I fear the day i'll back up to the point I'm more trouble than I'm worth...you know...normal girl stuff...

But at the same time, He'll touch his calf to mine in his sleep. He'll bring me food when I'm sick. He'll come into a room just to kiss me, and I feel like stars are falling on my skin and tickling my body while I fly towards them with wings of autumn leaves. It's the best feeling in the world when he just takes 5 seconds, looks at me, and smiles. Thats really all it takes to make me feel like I'm swooning. I've never swooned before, but I've never been closer to it than when Joe shows me favor in even the smallest way.

What the hell brought this on, you may ask. The answer is simple...

Dating Sims. 

You see, the past few years, although he puts in effort where he can, he's been super busy. He works, goes to school, has friends and family. He's a life long learner so he's constantly developing himself to help his family's company become the best it can be. That really doesn't leave a lot of time for romance.

What's more, I'm sick. Not the coughting kind, but the I can't even jack off without having a tremor attack. It's hard on him. I'm weak, I have no stamina, and I have a hard time seeing to his physical needs. He's so busy, and on the edge of a mental break he wont let me attend to his emotional needs. I even have a herd time keeping him from getting stressed out about the cleanliness of the house (not that he blames me, but I feel a personal responsibility for it having ne job) All this means, there is very little romance in our lives at the moment. It's understandable, 

But I started a dating sim. I chose a character based completely on how badass his armor was, and as Rod as my witness... I chose a Joe character. Rindoh acts like Joe, says things like Joe, fights like Joe, hell...he kind of even looks like joe. 

So is it any wonder I imagine it's Joe and I taking this adventure in my dating sim? I find myself looking forward to Rindoh doting on me as much as Joe. It's rediculous, and weird, but I'm in love. So very in love.