And I am lost. Not in the physical since, but the metaphorical. It feels the same. It's this crazy disorienting feeling in your head and a sinking stomach feeling.
I'm so fucking lost. I'm 30 years old, jobless, no prospects, and little money (which is government assistance so...it's a fucking handout) I'm sick...and I'm sicker than I let on, of course some days I'm fine and I forget...but days like today when I can't even talk haunt me. I'm unsure how long my relationship will last. He has to be getting fed up with my health bull shit by now. I'm lost.
I really want to move back in with my folks and give up on adulting. I mean, I really want to move into a toddler state where all I have to do is read and go to school and have all my other needs met.
I couldn't have worked today. What do I do if I can't work? Aren't I no better than a toddler anyway?
School costs money. I have no money. I need a good job that I can work quietly alone. Retail doesn't do that. Factory work light labor would be best for me. Where I can sit down in my wheelchair and do a single task 8billion times a day and be paid a living wage.
What should I do? I can't even do basic home making. I'm useless. Why do I exsist.
"Even the lame may ride a horse" where is my horse?
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