Wrongness, thats the only way I can describe my feelings as of late. I feel out of place with my friends, like there's a shell sitting where I should be, and they don't even notice the corn husk doll that's replaced me. When I'm alone there is nothing but my to-do list and sometimes not even that.
The only time I feel complete lately is when I'm singing loudly off key to anything I know the words to. I've been working on learning metal lyrics, but I actually need to read what they are most of the time because the singers sound like they're vomiting into the microphone. I think that's part of the appeal...just screaming. I totally get that right now.
Cody said we're going to start a Black Metal band where I just Tourett's scream into a microphone. I thought it was funny.
I'm wearing some new lipstick right now. I guess it makes me feel more human. Joe hates lipstick cuz he can't kiss me. But it really makes me feel something. It's a powerful sensation of self control, but I feel something.
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