I started reading all my old books, getting rid of the hard copies and replacing them with kindle versions. Through reading them I've discovered some of my favorite books as a young adult are actually horribly written. I still paw at them with an almost religous fervor, but every plot hole and poor discription wounds me.
I go to my parent house occasionally. It's the house I grew up in, but it is no longer my home. My room has been gutted and is now my youngest brother's room. The house has been through so many decorations it's no longer the house I knew as a child. The only place I have is a toothbrush in the guest toothbrush drawer.
I'm a different person than I was. Every trial I face changes me for good or ill and I can never go back to what I was before. Sometimes I forget where I came from. I shed the past like a snake. Honestly the person I was a year ago seems like a character I read in a story. Who was I? I was many people leading up to this person now. I am the echo of the Laura's before me.
When a snake sheds it's skin, right before there is a darkening of the skin and the snakes eyes glaze over. It is blind and lashes out at anything that may be a threat. I feel like that snake these days. I'm scared of myself and who I'll become as well as the world around me.
When I get my license and a job I'll have shed my skin. Who will I be? I hope I'm industrious and moral, not like I have been lately. I want to look back through nostalgic eyes and not recognize the person I've been and love the person I am, being happy, but never satisfied with the person I am.
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