Doing well.

I have decided that I can’t do more than one goal at once.  I just don’t have the capacity for it. So my running plan is to do dishes daily.focus on dishes, and no other housework I don’t usually do. I’m breaking my rule here, but I’m also dieting. If I can be successful for 3 weeks I will try to stop smoking. From there, who knows, but at least I won’t feel guilty every time I light up a cigarette since I have a plan.

I broke my diet last night. Joe isn’t feeling well so I went out and got him (and I) Chick-fil-A. I shouldn’t have gotten myself any, but I was hungry. Very hungry. As in order two meals for myself hungry. I should have smacked when I got home from work, but laying down took priority. I was exhausted after work. Not that the day was bad, but rather I’m still a bit sick and energy levels aren’t quite up to par.

I talked with my shrink, and we are going to experiment for one more month to see if I need my pills. So I might be pill free starting soon. Well I’m already pull free we’re just going to see if it’s a good idea.

Something that’s really been getting me down lately is all the comments I’ve been getting on my appearance. I wish I could complain about compliments, but it’s the opposite. Joe’s always been brutally honest with me (which I appreciate since I’m oblivious), but people outside of joe have been commenting negatively on my appearance lately. Last one is “You look like crap” from one of my bosses in reference to the fact I still look sick. Now, normally I’d take it in stride, but lately I’ve noticed that the amount of negative comments far outweigh the good ones. I don’t feel good about my appearance, not because of the criticism, but because of the lack of compliments. I’m not pretty. I don’t dress well. I have poor hygiene. But it’s still nice to feel good about yourself sometimes. A compliment would go far to soothe me. So I’m thinking about wearing makeup to work. I usually don’t because the kids don’t need to see my fake face. I mean I dress up more than what’s required for work most days, but I guess putting forth the extra effort might get me a compliment and make me feel better. I’ll probably talk with joe about giving me more compliments after he’s done being sick.

Oh yeah, despite not touching me and avoiding the same areas of the house as me while I was sick, joe still caught my cold. If I had more days off I’d take one to take care of him. I love that man.