Triple chins: on why I make pictures goofy

I've been taking a lot of selfies lately because I know no one else is taking pictures of me. That's not me feeling sorry for myself. I just literally notice everyone taking selfies and no pictures of me so I fill the void. Yet I always make the goofiest pictures I can muster. Case and point from Girl's night a few nights ago (part of my ongoing expression of my need to get out more)

And even when someone else is taking a picture of me, I can't just smile. I tend to make faces in those pictures too. 

Joe pointed this out to me without realizing it, and it really got me thinking. Why can't I take a serious picture?

I think what it comes down to is a deep fear that I'm not pretty/badass/or otherwise worthy of having a picture taken of me. If I can't be worthy to take the best picture possible, I feel like taking the goofiest and most obnoxious picture possible is the only resort.

It's been a hot minute since I felt pretty or badass; both of which I deeply desire. And no matter what the actual facts are, I feel awkward, silly, weird, ugly, hulking, and have I mentioned awkward? I think my goofy pictures are a subconscious attempt to play to my strengths, even if others don't view them as strengths. It's all I feel I have. 

I suppose now that I've noticed the pattern I'll try and remember that I'm a human worthy enough to be pictured as I normally am.