Bad days, Good thoughts.

The past few days I have had at least one seizure a day, and the tremors have been bad. My shrink appointment was moved to Monday so on top of the seizures I've been fighting panic attacks. 

Something people don't understand about seizures is that they don't stop when the shaking stops. For hours if not a full day after your brain just doesn't work right. It's like there's a part of your brain that just turned off. A lot of people discribe it like your trying to do stuff in a heavy fog, but instead of on the outside, it's on the inside of your head.

I'm fighting against my own brain to even communicate through writing.

Things will get better though. I'm certain. Monday is my first appointment with the neuro psyciatrist. It's the first step in my journey to healing.

Till then I'm going to dream about my future. I'm going to have an off the grid homestead with chickens, bees, goats, and alpacas...and maybe ducks. I'm going to get more cats. Some for barn mousing and some for house mousing. And I'm going to have a dog, and a teacup piggy named Hildisvin.

I'll have a veggie and herb garden, an orchard, some berry bushes, and maybe a natural pool.

My brain isn't good on details right now, but I'm happily thinking of all the warm hugs and cuddles I'll be getting. Much like the cuddles I'm getting right now...